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Google Prayers



When your boyfriend or girlfriend comes out of the blue and decides to break up with you, it can come as a serious hit to your confidence and feelings. I doubt I really needed to tell you that, but it's true...breakups really hurt. But what if there was a shot at getting your ex boyfriend back, and picking back up where you left off? Would you be interested? Of course you would, read on!

There are a number of things that could have gone wrong with your relationship that made your partner want to leave, but the vast majority of them are actually fixable. Some of them aren't, but most of them are. The biggest problems in relationships that can be fixed are the ones within yourself.

Don't make the mistake of chasing after your ex right after he/she breaks up with you...that's a bad idea and it could only drive him/her further away. Give your ex some space, and sit down with yourself. Analyze the relationship you had with your ex, and figure out which of the problems that caused the breakup YOU were responsible for. THOSE are the ones you can fix.

Forget about trying to fix anything that was wrong with your ex...nobody can change those things but your ex him/herself. The only things you can really do anything about are the things that you and you alone are responsible for: your own actions and behaviors.

Making sacrifices and compromises is the name of the dating game, and it only makes sense that any relationship is a combo of give-and-take. After all, there are two people here who both require their needs to be met in order to be happy...the key is finding a nice balance where you can make your partner happy and remain happy yourself.

So figure out the things you did wrong. Those are the things you have to give on, to the point where your partner could be happy with you. Really, it's good for you anyways, because in the possible event that your partner isn't the person you spend your entire life with, addressing these problems now could mean relationship success in the future.

So when you're ready to start back in trying to get your ex back, after you've really addressed the problems of which you're the main cause, you should start off slow. The initial contact could be anything...an email, a phone call, a text message...whatever you're most comfortable with. Above all, the contact shouldn't be about getting back together, but just about seeing how your ex has been.

If you're really smooth about how you go about it, your ex'll probably be okay with remaining in touch. Try to be unassuming and generally relaxed...don't go on the offensive to "win your ex back." That'll just make your ex want to sever contact altogether. Build contact slowly, until eventually you're spending time together again.

Once you get to this point, it's important to just enjoy your time together. Do things the two of you always enjoyed before the breakup, it's good kindling for fond memories and old feelings. Let your ex see how awesome it can be to be with you, and allow the work you've been doing on yourself to speak for itself.

Nine times out of ten, the old love between you isn't lost, just buried beneath the hurt that all the problems in the relationship caused. Since you're supposed to have dealt with your side of those problems, there should be little in the way of your ex realizing how little point there is to remaining your "ex." Follow this advice, and you have a serious shot at saving your relationship.

Our Google

Our Google, who art in cyberspace,
Hallowed be thy domain.
Thy search to come,
Thy results be done,
On 127.0.0.1 as it is in the Googleplex.
Give us this day our daily searches,
And forgive us our spam,
As we forgive those who spam against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from Microsoft.
For thine is the search engine,
And the power,
And the glory,
Forever and ever.
Amen.

~ By Matt Bowen ~

This prayer is in binary.

01010111 01100101 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 01100111 01100101 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01000111 01101111 01101111 01100111 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101100 01100001 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01100100 01101111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 01110011

~ By Jonathan Hill ~

Hail Google

Hail Google, full of hits.
Our searches are with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst search engines,
and blessed is the fruit of thy servers.

Holy Google, Mother of Searches.
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our disk crash.
Amen.

~ By Larry Gagnon ~

The Google is my Engine; I shall not want.
She maketh me to improve myself:
She leadeth me to troves of knowledge.
She cacheth my lost pages:
She leadeth me in the paths of pagerank for her name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of ignorance,
I will fear no linkfarms: For thou art with me;
Thy rank and thy mail, they comfort me.
Thou preparest tables before me with the presence of mine results;
Thou annointest my search with value; My content runneth over.

Surely pagerank and content shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell at the site of Google forever.

~ By Gavin McDonald ~

Our Google, who art in GooglePlex,
Hallowed be thy search,
Thy GoogleBots come,
The search will be done,
At school*, as it is at home.
Give us this day our daily search,
and forgive us our plaguirism,
as we forgive those who plaguirise against us.
And lead us not into Yahoo,
But deliver us from Microsoft.
For thine is the web**, the mail***, and the desktop****, forever and ever. Amen

* replace with work where appropriate
** through google websearch
*** through gmail
**** through google desktop

~ By Julian Farmer ~

Proverbs 3, 5-6. Sort of.

Trust in the GOOGLE with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Her,
and She will direct your paths.

~ By Susan Harrison ~

Glory be to Google,
As it was in 1998,
Is now,
And ever shall be,
Searching without end,
Amen.

~ By Todd Berry ~

Google is my search engine; I shall not want another.
She maketh me to lay down searches in white pastures.
She leadeth me by the free results.
She restoreth my soul.

She leadeth me in the paths of revealing the unknown
For Her name sake.
Yea, though I walk through the silicon valley
of the shadow of other search engines,
I will fear no evil.

For thou art with me.
Thy PageRank and thy cache they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table of similar pages before me
In the presence of regular search results.

Thou anointest my head with algorithms;
My cup runneth over with your search tips.
Surely Googles index shall follow me,
All the search requests of my life.

And I will dwell in the homepage
Of Google forever.

~ By Niel Jenks ~

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