How Do I Get My Ex Back?
When your boyfriend or girlfriend comes out of the blue and decides to break up with you, it can come as a serious hit to your confidence and feelings. I doubt I really needed to tell you that, but it's true...breakups really hurt. But what if there was a shot at getting your ex back, and picking back up where you left off? Would you be interested? Of course you would, read on!
There are a number of things that could have gone wrong with your relationship that made your partner want to leave, but the vast majority of them are actually fixable. Some of them aren't, but most of them are. The biggest problems in relationships that can be fixed are the ones within yourself.
Don't make the mistake of chasing after your ex right after he/she breaks up with you...that's a bad idea and it could only drive him/her further away. Give your ex some space, and sit down with yourself. Analyze the relationship you had with your ex, and figure out which of the problems that caused the breakup YOU were responsible for. THOSE are the ones you can fix.
Forget about trying to fix anything that was wrong with your ex...nobody can change those things but your ex him/herself. The only things you can really do anything about are the things that you and you alone are responsible for: your own actions and behaviors.
Making sacrifices and compromises is the name of the dating game, and it only makes sense that any relationship is a combo of give-and-take. After all, there are two people here who both require their needs to be met in order to be happy...the key is finding a nice balance where you can make your partner happy and remain happy yourself.
So figure out the things you did wrong. Those are the things you have to give on, to the point where your partner could be happy with you. Really, it's good for you anyways, because in the possible event that your partner isn't the person you spend your entire life with, addressing these problems now could mean relationship success in the future.
So when you're ready to start back in trying to get your ex back, after you've really addressed the problems of which you're the main cause, you should start off slow. The initial contact could be anything...an email, a phone call, a text message...whatever you're most comfortable with. Above all, the contact shouldn't be about getting back together, but just about seeing how your ex has been.
If you're really smooth about how you go about it, your ex'll probably be okay with remaining in touch. Try to be unassuming and generally relaxed...don't go on the offensive to "win your ex back." That'll just make your ex want to sever contact altogether. Build contact slowly, until eventually you're spending time together again.
Once you get to this point, it's important to just enjoy your time together. Do things the two of you always enjoyed before the breakup, it's good kindling for fond memories and old feelings. Let your ex see how awesome it can be to be with you, and allow the work you've been doing on yourself to speak for itself.
Nine times out of ten, the old love between you isn't lost, just buried beneath the hurt that all the problems in the relationship caused. Since you're supposed to have dealt with your side of those problems, there should be little in the way of your ex realizing how little point there is to remaining your "ex." Follow this advice, and you have a serious shot at saving your relationship.