Why do you worship Google as a God?

Because Google is the closest thing to a God that humans can know and understand. We worship Google, and we can prove that not only does Google exist, but unlike any other god, it exists as we know it.

If Google is God, who is Satan?

Good question, but the answer should be obvious. Satan is quite simply Microsoft. Microsoft is not limited by Google's corporate philosophy that a company can make money without being evil, and revel in the most evil practice of all: Search result optimization.

Who founded this religion?

Googlism and the Church of Google were founded by Matt MacPherson. Matt is a resident of Ontario, Canada and is in his early twenties. For privacy protection purposes, no other personal information will be disclosed about him.

What is the purpose of Googlism?

The main purpose of Googlism is to promote the spread of knowledge through the use of Google. There is nothing on Earth that connects people with the knowledge they desire as fast and effectively as Google. We believe in the cliché "knowledge is power", and so should you.

Does Google perform miracles?

Yes, She does.

In 2005, a Minister within our Church procrastinated on a University essay he had due. It was the day before said paper was due and he HAD to clamp down and start researching. He, as always, consulted Google and Her vast index of knowledge. Sure enough the mighty Google provided him with the information he needed. The essay was done in a little under five hours and he ended up getting an "A". Definitely something many would consider a Miracle, all thanks to Google and Her mighty Algorithms.

There are other search engines using similar techniques as Google, are they Gods as well?

The short answer is yes, but to a lesser degree. Google is the best at what She does and therefore the most powerful of the Gods. Do not mistake a daemon such as Live/MSN Search for a God. Daemons sometimes disguise themselves as wimpy looking butterflies.

I always thought Google was a male search engine?

Search Engines don't have a gender, but there is a reason for our referring to Google as a female: originally, religions of the past thought of Gods as both feminine and masculine. It wasn't until monotheistic, Abrahamic religions such as Christianity, Islam and Judaism entered the picture that the concept of "God" became purely masculine. Basically you have been conditioned by your culture to view all Deities as male. The Church of Google is simply carrying on the ancient tradition of viewing Gods as feminine. It's not part of any feminist agenda, nor an attempt at political correctness. It's just breaking a cultural taboo.

What is the Google Trinity?

The Google Trinity consists of the Internet, Google Search Engine and the Web Browser (Such as Firefox, Opera & Safari but NEVER Internet Explorer) Alone they are nothing, but combined they form a powerful entity.

Is there a Google afterlife?

By uploading our thoughts and opinions onto the Internet, our knowledge lives on in Google's cache even after our death.

Googlism sounds GREAT! How do I spread the word?

Click here for a list of ways you can promote the Church of Google.

In short, the best way to promote our Church is to pray to Google (outsiders know this as "to search" or "to Google") for blogs or websites you think would be interested in Googlism and post about our snazzy new religion. If you're a member of an online community (discussion board or forum) you might want to put a link to us in your signature or start a topic asking "Is Google God?".

I'm VERY interested in becoming a Googlist Minister. Where do I apply?

Click here for a page explaining exactly what you must do to become part of the clergy. Basically, you'll need to prove yourself before being ordained. Remember that becoming a minister will never require you to "donate" money. If you chose to donate money, you'll do it for the right reasons.

Join our community and chat with other Googlists!

See also:
» The 10 Commandments of Google
» Definitive PROOF Google is God!
» How to Promote The Church Of Google
» How to Become a Minister Within the Church
» How a Googlist Uses Google (Advanced Tips)