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The Good Reverend Roger
October 16th, 2008, 05:28 AM
The Good Reverend Roger has the floor...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, and no, I will not yield the balance of my time...because I've had it up to HERE with the primates that are trying to drag us down!

You know who I'm talking about...That jackass that parked you in so close that you needed a Goddamn can opener to get into your car...that syrupy-voiced moron that does the Lexus "pre-owned" commercials...that shrew-faced jackal at the DMV...Yeah, you know.

Whether it's the police, or some faceless "government" non-entity, or just your homeowners' association rules Nazi, they really are out to get you...even if they have no idea who you are. It's not personal, after all (you must try to remember this, even if they have your name tattooed on their foreheads), it's just that they can't tolerate anyone who dares to stand on their hind legs. You don't fit. You make waves. You're a pain in the ass, and they're going to punish you for it.

Maybe you're willing to put up with it, but The Good Reverend's mama taught him that when the rock hits you, you holler. You get mad. In fact, to quote Howard Beale, you get mad as hell and you don't take it anymore!

So The Good Reverend Roger is moving from "jaking" the jerks to punishing them right back.

Now, some of the bleeding-heart, mamby-pamby, so-called "Discordians" will rush to point out that this is badwrong, and will advise us to "instruct" the Grays (usually with some lame shit like street theater or pope cards or even that stupid Goddamn "Turkey Curse"), or whimper about how punishing is what the GRAYS do...and my response is "WHY?" Why should the Grays have a monopoly on that sort of thing? Hell, no...give them a taste of their own medicine.

That's right...every Subgenius a Torquemada, and every Discordian a J Edgar Hoover (cross-dressing is, of course, optional). I can't speak for you, but *I* say it's high time we took this planet back from the trogdolytes.

Now, what I am NOT proposing is some retarded armed insurrection. Hell, if we know one thing about the con, we know that it is the master of applied violence. No, we're going to have to be sneakier than that. Now, as to what kind of sneaky, well...that's up to you. You could turn into walking glitch, leaving a wake of inoperable machinery, telephones, and toilets in your wake. Or maybe you're more of a humanist, and you'd feel more comfortable bolluxing up peoples' paperwork left and right. Or maybe you just get a kick out of poking control freaks until the blow a gasket (try, for example, going to the DMV and killing a day by intentionally screwing up your paperwork over and over again. It's more fun than it sounds...their little heads spin round and round...).

Whatever it is, it's time to do it NOW. Not next week, or next month, or "someday". NOW, while there's still time, before The Machine brings the curtain down on fun, forever...for are we not "Bob's" Million-Ton Shit Hammer? IS IT NOT TIME TO SMITE THE HEATHENS? IS IT NOT TIME TO KICK THE CRUTCHES OUT FROM UNDER THE CRIPPLE THAT WE CALL "SOCIETY"?

AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Or kill me.

Dr Goofy Mofo
October 16th, 2008, 05:35 AM
Not bad. I do love to poke at control freaks until they blow a gasket.

Why is everyone ended with or kill me, may I ask?

The Good Reverend Roger
October 16th, 2008, 05:37 AM
Not bad. I do love to poke at control freaks until they blow a gasket.

Why is everyone ended with or kill me, may I ask?

I've always signed my rants off that way. It's a subgenius thing, not to be explained unto the heathen.

Dr Goofy Mofo
October 16th, 2008, 05:39 AM
I probally need to stop slacking and get on to reading the stuff they sent me and the site, but I got hw.

The Good Reverend Roger
October 16th, 2008, 05:43 AM
I probally need to stop slacking


wut

Dr Goofy Mofo
October 16th, 2008, 05:44 AM
Well I slack so much I know nothing about subgenius... I thought that's what I had to do! But you keep mentioning things that are subgenius.

The Reverend Asshat
October 16th, 2008, 03:10 PM
It's a blast to fuck with their heads until their eyes cross.

The Good Reverend Roger
October 17th, 2008, 03:28 AM
Well I slack so much I know nothing about subgenius... I thought that's what I had to do! But you keep mentioning things that are subgenius.

Slack isn't necessarily fucking off. Hell, some Subgenii get their slack from frantic activity.

Slack is enjoying the ride.

And They are trying to take it from you, substituting it with inferior False Slack, such as television and booze.

Loki
October 17th, 2008, 06:38 PM
I think I've seen that rant before?

I couldn't be arsed reading it then.
So I hope you don't take offence when I can't be arsed reading it now:D

Fancy putting it into one sentence?

(oh yeah - I know I'm asking for it :D)

rzm61
October 17th, 2008, 06:42 PM
(oh yeah - I know I'm asking for it :D)

At least you didn't say this doesn't belong in Googlism Chat!

The Reverend Asshat
October 18th, 2008, 01:57 AM
I think I've seen that rant before?

I couldn't be arsed reading it then.
So I hope you don't take offence when I can't be arsed reading it now:D

Fancy putting it into one sentence?

(oh yeah - I know I'm asking for it :D)


Roger doesn't do sound bytes.

Loki
October 18th, 2008, 02:10 AM
Where is the daft bastard? I've delayed my bedtime just to hear the Rev speak!
:D
(I love him really! It was that incident with the soap that allowed us to bond <dream sequence> Mmmmmmmmmm</dream sequence>

The Good Reverend Roger
October 19th, 2008, 12:21 AM
Where is the daft bastard? I've delayed my bedtime just to hear the Rev speak!
:D
(I love him really! It was that incident with the soap that allowed us to bond <dream sequence> Mmmmmmmmmm</dream sequence>

If you can't be bothered reading a page or so, I can't be bothered explaining it.

Loki
October 19th, 2008, 01:14 AM
If you can't be bothered reading a page or so, I can't be bothered explaining it.

Hey, I did real it.

What does "bolluxing" mean btw? Is it one of your quaint French sayings? :D

The Good Reverend Roger
October 19th, 2008, 04:13 AM
Hey, I did real it.

What does "bolluxing" mean btw? Is it one of your quaint French sayings? :D
It means to fuck with, to render inoperable, or to give unto Finagle.

Loki
October 19th, 2008, 06:55 PM
It means to fuck with, to render inoperable, or to give unto Finagle.

Got ya! The Past Participle Subjunctive Nominative of Bollox! We don't use the Past Participle Subjunctive Nominative too much in the UK. I think it's an American thing.

The Good Reverend Roger
October 20th, 2008, 02:13 AM
Got ya! The Past Participle Subjunctive Nominative of Bollox! We don't use the Past Participle Subjunctive Nominative too much in the UK. I think it's an American thing.

You cannot afford.

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