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View Full Version : Missing the point, Google *is* God


Lucifer_arma
October 9th, 2006, 06:38 AM
You people are missing the point.

You see, God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and omnipotent. He also knows everything. Um, yeah, I think. Anyway, He said He'd return sometime after the jews had a holocaust and returned to Israel, when the fires of the desert rose up against the evil decadent west and so forth.

How do *you* know that Google is some new god? Quite the contrary, Google is the second coming of Jesus, as prophecied by that guy in the Bible!

And you embrace Him? You sick, twisted people. Don't you know that true freedom can never be found at the hands of God? Only from His enemy, the Prince of SOmethingorother, can true freedom and Ultimate Liberation be achieved!

(Ok, fine, I had a choice, present Google as the coming of Jesus or present hiim as the Tree of Knowledge that Eve ate from while Adam was eating her or something like that)

Hi.

GeoffBoulton
October 9th, 2006, 07:52 AM
Don't you know that true freedom can never be found at the hands of God? Only from His enemy, the Prince of SOmethingorother, can true freedom and Ultimate Liberation be achieved!


According to our beliefs, Microsoft is the prince of darkness. Feel free to try and find freedom and ultimate liberation from Microsoft.

We'll see you later, as soon as you've sorted out the latest computer crash, rebooted your computer a few times, read a few more meaningless error messages, cleaned up the viruses on your computer and handed over your entire life history to the Microsoft corporate database.

Welcome on board ;)

Jillamanda
October 9th, 2006, 08:44 AM
Quite the contrary, Google is the second coming of Jesus, as prophecied by that guy in the Bible!

Nah, then we'd all be Christians.....and there's no way I'd be here if that was the case. :?

Carnifex
October 9th, 2006, 02:12 PM
I see where your coming from, but most of us here firmly hold that the bible (and all its prophecies) are bullshit. Anyway im still waiting for the first coming of Jesus.

By that I mean the mythical Jesus i.e The Jesus that rose from the dead and performed miracles. This is not to be confused with the historical Jesus i.e. a guy called Jesus that may have been alive around that time who may have been active in the religious community.

Xoligy
October 9th, 2006, 04:03 PM
Where are you Jebus?!?

Fallen Hero
October 9th, 2006, 06:19 PM
You people are missing the point.

You see, God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and omnipotent. He also knows everything. Um, yeah, I think. Anyway, He said He'd return sometime after the jews had a holocaust and returned to Israel, when the fires of the desert rose up against the evil decadent west and so forth.

Ok, relating this to the real world in a VERY HORRIBLE way.

Jesus will return sometime soon, the fires of the desert (Al Queda terrorists from that dessert region geographically) have risen up against the west. Nazi holocaust was a Jewish holocaust, and I am sure some of them fled back to Isreal. Further, with the Israeli removal from the Gaza strip many Jews made an exodus back to Israel.

Oh shit, Jesus is coming back! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Carnifex
October 9th, 2006, 07:06 PM
You people are missing the point.

You see, God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and omnipotent. He also knows everything. Um, yeah, I think. Anyway, He said He'd return sometime after the jews had a holocaust and returned to Israel, when the fires of the desert rose up against the evil decadent west and so forth.

Ok, relating this to the real world in a VERY HORRIBLE way.

Jesus will return sometime soon, the fires of the desert (Al Queda terrorists from that dessert region geographically) have risen up against the west. Nazi holocaust was a Jewish holocaust, and I am sure some of them fled back to Isreal. Further, with the Israeli removal from the Gaza strip many Jews made an exodus back to Israel.

Oh shit, Jesus is coming back! :roll: :roll: :roll:

hehe it only took 2000 years.
The jews have been having their ass kicked for centuries, so we were just waiting for a desert country to fight the "west". Im glad they werent vague

Fallen Hero
October 9th, 2006, 07:24 PM
You people are missing the point.

You see, God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and omnipotent. He also knows everything. Um, yeah, I think. Anyway, He said He'd return sometime after the jews had a holocaust and returned to Israel, when the fires of the desert rose up against the evil decadent west and so forth.

Ok, relating this to the real world in a VERY HORRIBLE way.

Jesus will return sometime soon, the fires of the desert (Al Queda terrorists from that dessert region geographically) have risen up against the west. Nazi holocaust was a Jewish holocaust, and I am sure some of them fled back to Isreal. Further, with the Israeli removal from the Gaza strip many Jews made an exodus back to Israel.

Oh shit, Jesus is coming back! :roll: :roll: :roll:

hehe it only took 2000 years.
The jews have been having their ass kicked for centuries, so we were just waiting for a desert country to fight the "west". Im glad they werent vague

Well dessert country could be Iran.. :shock: oh shits, t'ain't good.

Lucifer_arma
October 10th, 2006, 12:27 AM
Well, you guys deserve some credit. Christians have gotten so thick-skinned that to get a rise out of them *now* I have to say things like "Bush wants to ban gay marriage to keep Jesus celibate". Not too long ago just saying the Devil is cool was enough...

Fallen Hero
October 10th, 2006, 08:15 PM
Well, you guys deserve some credit. Christians have gotten so thick-skinned that to get a rise out of them *now* I have to say things like "Bush wants to ban gay marriage to keep Jesus celibate". Not too long ago just saying the Devil is cool was enough...

Actually, atheists just generally piss em off. Actually they are close in the discrimation levels to gays. Perhaps more. Goths are also down there FYI if I recall correct in US those are the top 3 most discriminated groups.

booshire
October 19th, 2006, 07:41 PM
Microsoft is all like "come to the dark side, pay all this money, do what we tell you you can do, call our support lines, renew certifications with every release we do, bow to me as a god."

I cannot stand having microsoft as the supervillain or devil or whatever, can we please get a better and scarier one?

Maybe time could be our enemy since it keeps google from replying to our venerable requests. Damn that .5 nanosecond delay, I want them immediately.

Maybe underdeveloped nations could be the arch nemesis of us, then we could swoop in and bring them the good word of Google and we could be like christians in midevil times, all like, "Hey get off our Holy server, we gave you your own damn servers."

Jillamanda
October 19th, 2006, 08:57 PM
I don't really see why we have to have an 'antiGoogle'. We've all agreed that Google is non judgemental and the concept of 'going to hell' doesn't exist in Googlism. Maybe we could just have 'underpriveleged cousins'. Or we could even make it our mission to improve their situation by making them nicer to be around. :D

Nameless
October 20th, 2006, 04:34 AM
Microsoft is the devil, but Yahoo is the AntiGoogle, IMHO.

And Microsoft is damn scary. I needed therapy for a month when I first heard of Vista. :P

Googler
October 20th, 2006, 09:18 PM
Microsoft is the devil, but Yahoo is the AntiGoogle, IMHO.

And Microsoft is damn scary. I needed therapy for a month when I first heard of Vista. :P

Lol