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View Full Version : I can't believe I still have a functioning keyboard.


Rimmer
April 6th, 2010, 09:03 AM
Alright, here's the story. A couple days ago I bought myself a brand new G15 gaming keyboard. Several minutes ago I spilt about a glassfull of chocolaty milk from my bowl of cereal all over the numpad. My thought process at the time: "FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-". So, I take the keyboard to the bathroom, pluck out all the numpad keys, see a bit of milk on the pg up/down keys and remove all of those for good measure too. Put all the removed keys in another cereal bowl which I then wash with hot water and leave there while I go wipe the keyboard. I figure something must've got inside the keyboard so I take several minutes to remove all the screws and put them in some plastic box. Then I slip my thumb between the casings and try to pry the thing open. Guess what? Turns out keyboards are quite sharp and I cut myself. There's probably bloodstains inside the thing now. Anyway, I open it up a bit, and it is at this point I realise I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. My thought process then: "Shit, are those things supposed to be loose?"
I figured that if the keyboard wasn't broken before, it must be now, so I feel around a bit inside on the plastic under the numpad for moisture, find none, snap the thing closed and start screwing in all the frigging screws again (there's like 15 of them, but who's counting). Dry up the keys and put them back on the keyboard and then I plug that sucker in. Voila, it's alive! Only problem is that I bent the plastic at some point and now my keyboard wobbles. Then I proceed to dry my mouse, clean my mousepad, and my floor, and my desk. The kicker? I did all this while wearing nothing but a towel.

Friggin hell...

tagnostic
April 6th, 2010, 01:15 PM
roflshcuafl
if a webcam
had been on
you'd be famous

rzm61
April 6th, 2010, 04:43 PM
:D


This was great.

Sister Faith
April 7th, 2010, 08:10 PM
roflshcuafl
if a webcam
had been on
you'd be famous

Hell ya! I'd pay to see that. :icon_lol:

Cheesemonkeys24
April 11th, 2010, 06:22 PM
LOL :icon_lol:
I saw some kid do
something like that once
in school.

tagnostic
April 11th, 2010, 07:55 PM
i sold a computer once to a lady
(it was a 386 dx 40, it was a while back)
for the next month she kept calling me
because she'd done something stupid
and crashed it,
(like deleting all those pesky dos files to make room for mp3's)

finally she calls and says the keyboard is broken
i ask whats wrong,
she says "the keys won't go on right"

on right? why are they off?

"well I washed them, the keyboard was dirty"

how did you wash them?

"well I took them off, put them in a mesh bag and ran them through the dishwasher"

was it on heat dry?

"well of course"

please don't call me again
your too stupid to talk too

it be's that way sometimes

Cheesemonkeys24
April 12th, 2010, 01:42 AM
LAWL people!
I was helping this old guy with
his laptop once, and he was so
clueless. His wife put the whole
laptop into the kitchen sink, and
washed it with the dishes
(srly, this is too stupid to make up)
anyway, I quit the next day after with
helping them. It was honestly stupid. :icon_lol:

tagnostic
April 12th, 2010, 02:53 PM
when you clean them like that
you don't have to worry about
spam, porn or anything else
all fixed:D

Cheesemonkeys24
April 12th, 2010, 09:14 PM
when you clean them like that
you don't have to worry about
spam, porn or anything else
all fixed

Microsoft's new help section!
:icon_lol:

tagnostic
April 12th, 2010, 09:45 PM
just hit
ctrl/hammer/windows disks

Cheesemonkeys24
April 14th, 2010, 01:03 AM
just hit
ctrl/hammer/windows disks

ctrl/alt/del/throw out window/

tagnostic
April 14th, 2010, 04:32 AM
ctrl temper
del windows
alt os

rzm61
April 14th, 2010, 04:34 AM
ctrl temper
del windows
alt os

:D

Sound's like a t-shirt.

tagnostic
April 14th, 2010, 04:39 AM
sudo apt-get install beer

Sporkinator
June 9th, 2010, 09:55 AM
I know this is an old topic, but...

I helped a friend format and re-install the OS (Windows XP) on her desktop computer, which has 128 MB of RAM, and a 2 GHz Intel Celeron Processor. Her other Vista computer must have fried itself or something and was full of dust and no longer worked. This XP computer was sluggishly slow, due to many AntiVirus-type programs running ALL AT ONCE and I didn't feel like trying to manually uninstall them when it takes 60+ seconds just for the Start menu to pop-up when clicked. So I downloaded all the needed drivers for her specific hardware ahead of time, and brought a Windows XP CD. I wiped the sucker with a format, re-installed OS, then installed the drivers for everything. The computer was now running at a decent speed. The Start Menu came up within 1 second. I had Battlezone on my Flash Drive and used it to verify that the computer's speed and graphics capabilities were decent. I got 60 FPS in the game. Problem solved.

She wanted to keep her children from using the computer without permission, so I setup one administrator account for her, and one for me, both with passwords, and one limited account for the kids, also with a password. I got to use her computer and do a few things on the Internet, like install Mozilla Firefox.

Well, she installed AVG AntiVirus because she insisted on having an AntiVirus. Later, she complained to me that the computer is slow again, and I got on and had a look. I checked the Task Manager... AVG was using about half of the available RAM and slowing the computer down to a crawl. It now takes 30 seconds for the Start Menu to pop up, and Battlezone gets 2-3 FPS. After explaining this to her, she still will not uninstall the AntiVirus, and she demoted my account to a limited account, which stopped me from booting into safe mode, which is how I used the computer without the AntiVirus running, and got even more speed because 3D acceleration and audio services were not running.

So much for that... due to a USER ERROR, I accomplished almost nothing. :icon_razz:

tagnostic
June 9th, 2010, 12:31 PM
yeppers, people will do the most bizarre things with computers, you should keep a live linux usb or cd, you can boot to it and have full access to the windows file system, it just won't be from windows, run the linux and you'll be at full speed even if she isn't. and remember, you can't protect people from themselves.

my personal favorite is the lady who said her keyboard wouldn't go back together, i asked her why it was apart, she didn't want it dirty so she had taken off all the keys put them in a pair of pantyhose and ran them through the dishwasher, the dry cycle was a bit too hot for them and they all melted just enough to make them not fit, i told her to buy a new keyboard and not call me again. too stupid to talk too