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Cartire
July 27th, 2010, 01:50 AM
Hope this doesnt offend and used more for humour. Read this today.

CHRISTIANITY:
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever
if you symbilically eat his flesh and telepathically tell hium that you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity
because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magicval tree.

Makes perfect sence.

Cartire
July 27th, 2010, 01:58 AM
THE INFINITE LOOP:

The Bible is the word of God.

"but how can you be sure its the word of God?"

Because the Bible tells us so

"but why believe the Bible?"

The Bible is infallible

"but how do you know its infallible?"

Because The bible is the word of God.

Repeat to line 2.

Cartire
July 27th, 2010, 02:00 AM
I'm going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born.
Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to.

TA DAH!!!

Sister Faith
July 27th, 2010, 06:40 PM
I'm going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born.
Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to.

TA DAH!!!

And theists wonder why we 'just don't get it'! :icon_lol:

godisgood
July 28th, 2010, 10:44 PM
I'm going to create man and woman with original sin.

I don't think the Bible says anywhere that the first people were created with sin. They brought it upon themselves, God didn't give it to them.

Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born.

This is where a little thing called the Trinity comes in. It's God represented in three persons, but still one (which may seem contradictory, but it's not). The Holy Spirit impregnated a woman with the Son of God. It was so that he could be just like a normal human being, and experience the same things we do.

Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself.

Christ didn't kill himself, he was killed by others. He knew it would happen, but he didn't tell them to, or instigate it. He was a sacrifice for the sin that people had been enslaved to. He did this so that people who had once been filthy with sin could draw near to a God who was so pure that no impurity could be in his presence.

I hope that helps you "just get it", because it is confusing but I believe it's true.

rzm61
July 28th, 2010, 11:02 PM
I don't think the Bible says anywhere that the first people were created with sin. They brought it upon themselves, God didn't give it to them.


Here is the first trick of the book. Well at least after the whole creation part.
(nice trolling by the way)


But anyway they didn't bring it upon themselves. The 'good lord' did. Funny how it's called the 'tree of knowledge' and 'god' doesn't want the humans to partake in it's fruit. He condemns them once they do... Wonder why.


Think about that for a minute. Seriously.

tagnostic
August 1st, 2010, 09:02 PM
if god were truly
omniscient
he would have created a
tree of common sense
let everybody eat its fruit
and avoided all the other
bs :shrug:

Will.
August 1st, 2010, 10:13 PM
The Tree of Knowledge is a symbol, a source of All information. And if you eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, you are therefore? Cheating.
And as we all know, the ten commandments.
Which can be summarized as
Don't lie, don't steal, and don't stub my toe or I'll put out your eye (or something to that effect Nevertheless!)
God is ultimately God, and could undo the cheating, and damn man.
If any of this were true, I'd be a Genius, worshipped by a flock if not sheep, because the Sheep was the dime-store representative of God in Revelations, and you all would be licking a lollipop with a picture of my head on it. (yeah I bought a box of Pope John Paul II lollipops. Eatshitedie.

Anyway, there is still some speculation, with the wide and complex variety of interpretations of the latin syntax, translated to french, then english, some of the main points could have been lost, so my theory is as follows.

It did not say that Jesus died for your sins, it said that he died OF your sins

godisgood
August 3rd, 2010, 11:58 PM
Funny how it's called the 'tree of knowledge' and 'god' doesn't want the humans to partake in it's fruit

Actually it's called "The tree of the knowledge of GOOD and EVIL". That's why God didn't want them to eat of it, becuase then they would know how to sin and do evil.

they didn't bring it upon themselves. The 'good lord' did.

God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree. He gave then all kinds of different trees to eat of. They basically lived in paradise, and had only one command to follow. Don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They ate of the tree of their own accord and therefor brought evil upon themselves.

if god were truly
omniscient
he would have created a
tree of common sense
let everybody eat its fruit
and avoided all the other
bs

Who are we to say what God should and shouldn't do? He knows what it best and will act accordingly.

Cartire
August 4th, 2010, 12:38 AM
God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree. He gave then all kinds of different trees to eat of. They basically lived in paradise, and had only one command to follow. Don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They ate of the tree of their own accord and therefor brought evil upon themselves.

This is what i have the hardest time understanding. Why create the tree in the first place? If we are created from him, why does he put out a test for us. If we are to be considered pets, why would he purposely put something out just to say "no". He obviously doesn't need the tree. Its not like he needs the tree, and there's no where else put it. So he has to put it in the garden and tell them, now don't touch this.

And if he truly was testing man, as if it was some sort of experiment, then why hold the punishment. If he didnt like that they didnt listen, then a truly unlimited deity would wipe the slate and start over.

But once again, an all knowing deity would have known this was what was going to happen, and therefor put it there with the knowledge that the fruit was to going to be taken. Therefor, set it up for a guaranteed failure.

If you say he didn't know, then he is no longer is all knowing, and there for foul-able. once again asserting to us, that he is not this all powerful being, but instead a FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION TO HELP US BETTER COPE WITH WHAT WE CANT ANSWER.

Will.
August 4th, 2010, 02:12 PM
I bet if there is a God, he thinks your both, tools.

tagnostic
August 8th, 2010, 08:34 PM
i think god should
create a companion
he'd be a lot more
relaxed if he was
getting laid

Sister Faith
August 9th, 2010, 06:45 PM
True! It's been a pretty long time for him since Mary. :icon_lol:

Cartire
August 9th, 2010, 09:58 PM
True! It's been a pretty long time for him since Mary. :icon_lol:

If you can even call that getting laid. From what I heard, he was such a bad lay that she pretended to be a virgin rather then admit that anything happened. And the dick must not be much either if it didnt even break the hymen.

Cheesemonkeys24
August 10th, 2010, 02:26 AM
Maybe Joseph wasn't too good in bed.....:icon_lol:

God
August 29th, 2010, 09:23 PM
Maybe the human mind is just an illusion generator, and it tells us all what we "need" to hear, in order to make it through life comfortably. Those who are foolish enough to need a bedtime story to help them stick to their morals, believe in god, those who don't need this particular delusion, believe in science. Its a never ending cycle of arguments, that neither side can seem to prove to the other. Kind of like the cycle of trying to prove that reality exists, and that we all aren't just a brain in a vat.

tagnostic
August 29th, 2010, 10:58 PM
imaginations
figments fine
but am i yours
or are you mine?

Cheesemonkeys24
August 31st, 2010, 05:16 PM
imaginations
figments fine
but am i yours
or are you mine?


0_o

Will.
September 1st, 2010, 01:40 PM
Maybe the human mind is just an illusion generator, and it tells us all what we "need" to hear, in order to make it through life comfortably. Those who are foolish enough to need a bedtime story to help them stick to their morals, believe in god, those who don't need this particular delusion, believe in science. Its a never ending cycle of arguments, that neither side can seem to prove to the other. Kind of like the cycle of trying to prove that reality exists, and that we all aren't just a brain in a vat.

10 Reasons why this post failed....


1. Of course the human mind is just a delusion generator.

2. No it doesn't, if it did people wouldn't opt out early.

3. No, science has never been an aspect of good, as a matter of fact it is a by product of war.

4. Reality exists, you don't.

5. If I was a brain in a vat, I'd think alot more.

6... I guess there are just 5.

Dr-Shade
September 1st, 2010, 09:49 PM
3. No, science has never been an aspect of good, as a matter of fact it is a by product of war.

Hate to dissagree man...

Yes, the vast majority of the time, scientific discoveries get hijacked for military purposes...

But war did not create the curiosity that is part of human nature..

tagnostic
October 26th, 2010, 04:29 PM
this one is a bit bipolar
natural curiosity is a fact
we can't seem to not wonder why
but its also true that the consequence
of immediate subjigation/annihilation does
tend to be a significant motivating factor in technological
advances

(where the hell are you Will?)

Yoda
November 1st, 2010, 06:26 PM
Well this seems like a fun thread.... Can I interject?....
Christ didn't kill himself, he was killed by others. He knew it would happen, but he didn't tell them to, or instigate it. He was a sacrifice for the sin that people had been enslaved to. He did this so that people who had once been filthy with sin could draw near to a God who was so pure that no impurity could be in his presence.


Didn't God send his only begotten son to die for our sins? I always thought that this meant his sole purpose was to die for our sins. Then of course when we do kill him God becomes enraged and the world goes dark for several days and the earth shakes. I find it kinda contradictory that he would do such a thing. :)

tagnostic
November 2nd, 2010, 07:13 AM
i've never understood
the 'sent him to die'
whats the point
if he wouldn't
stay dead?

Yoda
November 2nd, 2010, 09:58 AM
Well that's just because he is a vampire but we won't go into that :)

tagnostic
November 2nd, 2010, 10:53 PM
bring that broke lappy over
even money its the switch
but lets slap the meter on
the battery and cable
then we chainsaw it

Will.
November 13th, 2010, 01:53 AM
this one is a bit bipolar
natural curiosity is a fact
we can't seem to not wonder why
but its also true that the consequence
of immediate subjigation/annihilation does
tend to be a significant motivating factor in technological
advances

(where the hell are you Will?)

The first invention?
Anybody?
The pointed stick.
I rest my case.

tatty000
November 13th, 2010, 06:07 AM
The first invention?
Anybody?
The pointed stick.
I rest my case.
Discovery, not invention. Unless you refer to a shaped pointed stick.

Will.
November 13th, 2010, 08:33 AM
Discovery, not invention. Unless you refer to a shaped pointed stick.

No, just the first invention, first discovery.... Rocks... Hurt?

First mechanical invention, the Lever.

tagnostic
November 18th, 2010, 03:11 PM
the first invention?

"oww, that hurt"

the question mark

Will.
November 18th, 2010, 04:12 PM
the first invention?

"oww, that hurt"

the question mark


:icon_lol: Still a war mongering invention, if I do say so myself,

Come on, you all like canned cheese spray right? Thats a bi-product of war.

tagnostic
November 18th, 2010, 06:52 PM
rofl
point to will

although i would
specify
"survival"
as opposed to
"war"

Sporkinator
November 19th, 2010, 10:07 AM
I don't know
if I like canned
cheese, but I
think I would prefer
the real stuff.

tagnostic
November 20th, 2010, 05:02 PM
rofl
cheese
is inherently
molded lactose
not sure packaging
can be called an improvement