Quotes!

[Alice Shade]

Yes, that`s right.

Whenever you have a quote (Any quote. Famous person, or Joe Shmoe from chatroom over yonder - all goes.) you like - tag it on here. Feel free to discuss quotes here as well.

[Alice Shade]

What does not kills you, makes you stronger.

What is happiness? To have an enemy - to chase, fight and kill it... And then have a nice glass of good Georgian wine.

Some of ones I remember off the top of my head. Characteristical, no?

Also, one I just run into:

The whore is despised by the hypocritical world because she has made a realistic assessment of her assets and does not have to rely on fraud to make a living.

[punkinside]

Sorry to repeat these, but they're truly my favorite:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

I have these two in german, it would be interesting to know in which language he did say them.

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

A couple of friends and me were having lunch, and one of the girls was going out with this metro-sexual type fellow. It was a hot, sunny day and the guy was wearing a turtleneck sweater, much to heavy for the current weather conditions, when asked if he was not bothered by the heat, he replied:

Heat? Who cares about the heat? Whats important is always looking cool

We laughed so hard that the poor guy had to leave. Thankfully, our friend was laughing too so she could not be pissed at us.

[jon_hill987]

"There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes.
..........

[Kokoba]

Those who spell magic with a k...aren't.


Il faut cultiver notre jardin.

Roughly translated, "We should cultivate our garden," or perhaps more literally, "It is necessary to cultivate our garden," the last lines of Candide. Given the whole of the book there's a lot of ambiguity regarding these lines, but I take them to mean that first and foremost, the best thing to do is cultivate one's own garden.

Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.

"And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

Who will be quoted most often should be interesting to see.

[jon_hill987]

If you immediately know the candle light is fire, then the meal was cooked long ago.

Though I still haven't worked out what it means... Anyone else know?

[punkinside]

Iacta alea est


The die are cast. I generally use it to say: "theres nothing else to do".


In Vino Veritas


In wine is the truth. Meant to say that drunks don't lie.


"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"

[AaronD]

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one.

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied, And vice sometime's by action dignified.

I am Envy. I cannot read and therefore wish all books burned.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

I tried to vary up the quotes' authors... otherwise, you'd see ten pages of Adams, About five of Franklin, and another seven or so pages taken from Mel Brooks films, in adition to the quotes I've got here.

[Kokoba]

Speaking of Groucho:

This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.

...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.


I might have a dream where Descartes's chasing me with an ax, and I'll be running and running and then I'll realize I have an uzi in my backpack, so I'll take it out and, you know, "I REFUTE YOU THUSLY!!"

My favourite philosophy prof on campus.

[disciple]

This one I believe came from W. Somerset Maughan:

The story goes: at a party he spied a particculary attractive lady and approaching her asked, if he were to pay her $10,000.00 would She sleep with Him, to which She replied in the affirmative.
A while later a friend approached and after some small talk asked, what He was doing after the party?
He replied: 'I am taking this fine woman home and she is sleeping with me for five dollars'
'five dollars' replied the woman 'what do you think I am a whore?'
He replied: 'Madam we have already established what you are, now, we are just haggling over the price.'

[Alice Shade]

Found this one today - a solid german quote with nice ground for it.

If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.

[punkinside]

Actually, that one goes a little more like "The less people know how sausages and laws are made, the better they will sleep at night"

Je weniger die Leute davon wissen, wie Würste und Gesetze gemacht werden, desto besser schlafen sie.

I like this other one by Bismarck also:

Wenn man sagt, daß man einer Sache grundsätzlich zustimmt, so bedeutet es, daß man nicht die geringste Absicht hat, sie in der Praxis durchzuführen.

"When you say you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice"

[Alice Shade]

JC Denton: "Electronic surveillance hardly inspires reverence. Perhaps fear and obedience, but not reverence."
Morpheus: "God and the gods were apparitions of observation, judgement and punishment. Other sentiments towards them were secondary."
JC Denton: "No one will ever worship a software entity peering at them through a camera."
Morpheus: "The human organism always worships. First, it was the gods, then it was fame (the observation and judgement of others), next it will be self-aware systems you have built to realise truly omnipresent observation and judgement."
JC Denton: "You underestimate humankind's love of freedom."
Morpheus: "The individual desires judgement. Without that desire, the cohesion of groups is impossible, and so is civilisation."


Anyone knows the game where it`s from?

On a side note... It struck me as something pretty accurate and truthful.

[Alice Shade]

On a side note - three quotes featured in the game.

Which one is best? ^_^

It Is Better To Reign In Hell Than To Serve In Heaven.

Yesterday We Obeyed Kings And Bent Our Necks To Emperors. Today We Kneel Only To Truth.

If God Did Not Exist, It Would Be Necessary To Invent Him.

[Kokoba]

I'm a big fan of Milton and Paradise Lost as art, if not necessarily the theology behind it.

But Voltaire's good, too.

[jon_hill987]

Anyone knows the game where it`s from?

Anyone who doesn't know should play Deus Ex, it is the best game of all time (with the possible exception of HλLF-LIFE and it's sequels).

[Aullios]

Anyone who doesn't know should play Deus Ex, it is the best game of all time (with the possible exception of HλLF-LIFE and it's sequels).

Having played both, I'll agree that Half Life & Half Life 2 are better (I'll go as far as to say HL2 is the best FPS ever created). But yeah, Deus Ex is really good.

[Aullios]

Oh yeah, quote. Here's one from good ol' Douglas Adams.



Population [of the Universe]: None

It is well known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is so near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

[Alice Shade]

THat last one is a sofism.

No reason, why a part of infinite value can not be infinite as well.

[Aullios]

Oh, I know it's inaccurate. I still think it's funny.

Alternately, you could argue that there are not an infinite number of worlds, because space isn't necessarily infinite (just very very large).

[AaronD]

Yes, you could. In a lot of the Hitchhiker's Trilogy, there are subtle logical flaws you need to overlook, but they're still funny. Expanding on your post, Aullos, you could also argue that in the currently accepted constantly-expanding universe model, the universe is not infinite, because infinity cannot expand. Logically, if the universe is constantly expanding (as it is thought to be), then it is just incredibly large, as you said.

[Alice Shade]

Uh... Wrong.

Infinite values can expland and shrink just like finite ones.

They are just harder to wrap mind around.

[Kokoba]

How can infinity get bigger than itself?

O.o

[Alice Shade]

Same way Schroedinger`s cat can be alive and dead in the same time.

Without being overly anal, mathematical analysis allows to compare various infinite values. How exactly - that constitutes several semesters of advanced mathematics in university (Limits and integrals are key "tools" for comparing infinites.)

[jon_hill987]

Not exactly a quote (though the idea comes from Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novel "Thief of Time") but consider this:

How long is the smallest possible unit of time? In the same way that the smallest unit of electrical charge is the charge on an electron there must be a smallest possible unit of time. Think of it this way; the past ends before the present begins and the present ends before the future begins. Therefor the present has a beginning and an end and as a result must have a finite length. This length is the smallest possible unit of time, the moment. But how long is it?

If you like I can try and find the actual passage from the book, though I don't think I missed anything in the explanation.

[Alice Shade]

Theoretically, the smallest bit of time is the "charge" or tachyon.

On the other hand, there`s no consensus on what exactly are tachyons, so that`s hardly clarifying.

[jon_hill987]

So it could still be the length of time between the past and the future

[Uber Geek]

Here's one that I thought was quite apt.

'Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.'
Angela Monet

[Alice Shade]

True.

Just as smart are thought insane by stupid.

[Kokoba]

We're not our skin of grime, we're not our dread
bleak dusty imageless locomotive, we're all
beautiful golden sunflowers inside, we're blessed
by our own seed & golden hairy naked
accomplishment-bodies growing into mad black
formal sunflowers in the sunset, spied on by our
eyes under the shadow of the mad locomotive
riverbank sunset Frisco hilly tincan evening
sitdown vision.

From Sunflower Sutra (http://www.rooknet.com/beatpage/writers/ginsberg.html#sunflower).

[SirRuben]

I don't know who said these, but i really like 'em..

War is politics with bloodshed and politics is war without bloodshed

War is not about who is right, but who is left

[Aullios]

I don't know who said these, but i really like 'em..War is not about who is right, but who is left

I love puns in a "I'm laughing even though it's not really funny" kind of way.

[Barko]

Haha, I love the conversation I had with my mother a short time ago.

Mom: "There are so many people out there trying to disprove Jesus. Desciples of Satan."

Me: "So everyone who doesn't think Jesus is God is a child of Satan?"

Mom: "Yes."

Me: "Hello, Satan."


It pains me to see such insanity.

[Alice Shade]

I somehow think that being disciple of Satan suggests marginally higher life value, then being gullible fanatic.

[Googler]

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

Hmm, sounds like most "gods" there are, Google is there when you stop believing though :icon_biggrin:

[Saramon]

"But sir," Jonas Suggested,"Since you have so much power..."
The man corrected him, "Honor," He said firmly,"I have great honor, so will you, but you will find that is not the same as power." Lois Lowry, The Giver


Random quote from a random book at my desk

[Alice Shade]

Well.... Being respected as a person of high honor is a kind of power, but it`s pretty fickle - especiially, if one tarnishes that honor.

[Alice Shade]

Customer: "I have a cursing flasher."

I was rolling on floor, laughing. (It was supposed to be "Flashing cursor.")

[Barko]

This one's quite lengthy, but I like it. It's from "Horus Rising", the first of The Horus Heresy books.

"Great actions have shaped our society. The greatest of these, physically, has been the Emperor's formal and complete unification of Terra, the outward sequel to which, this Great Crusade, we are now engaged upon. But the greatest, intellectually, has been our casting off of that heavy mantle called religion. Religion damned our species for thousands of years, from the lowest superstition to the highest conclaves of spiritual faith. It drove us to madness, to war, to murder, it hung upon us like a disease, like a shackle ball. I'll tell you what religion was... No, you tell me. You, there?"

"Ignorance, sir."

"Thank you, Khanna. Ignorance. Since the earliest times, our species has stirven to understand the workings of the cosmos, and where that understanding has failed, or fallen short, we have filled in the gaps, plastered over the discrepancies, with blind faith. Why does the sun go round the sky? I don't know, so I will attribute it to the efforts of a sun god with a golden chariot. Why do people die? I can't say, but I will choose to believe it is the murky business of a reaper who carries souls to some afterworld. Religious faith. Belief in daemons, belief in spirits, belief in an afterlife and all the other trappings of a preternatural existence, simply existed to make us feel more comfortable and content in the face measureless cosmos. . ."

[Alice Shade]

"In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off."

An exempt from some kid`s school paper, it has wisdom beyond mortal understanding. ^_^

[punkinside]

I've never wanted to be a member of a group whose symbol is a guy nailed to two pieces of wood


:icon_lol:

[jon_hill987]

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

1234567890

[Saramon]

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.... A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass: he is actually ill.
-- H L Mencken

[Alice Shade]

True. But then again.. When everyone has faith - it is easier exploited, then suppressed.

[Serenstar]

No idea who said these but I'll post them anyway :biggrin: :

"Jesus called: He wants his religion back."

"Rome didn't build a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all who opposed them."

“Last time we mixed politics and religion people got burnt at the stake.”

“We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough religion to make us love one another”

"It's your hell. YOU burn in it."

This one I do know who said it:
“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." –Gandhi

ETA: Just found this one :biggrin:

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." -Rodney Dangerfield

[MonkeysUncle]

"Humor is a rubber sword. It lets you make a point without drawing any blood."

" all true wisdom is written on T-shirts."

"No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys."

All anonymous.

" If you can't take the heat don't tickle the dragon."

T-shirt slogan. See?

[Alice Shade]

I could not pass this one up.

Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.

[jon_hill987]

E-Meter? I bought one of those in Radioshack, it is called a Ohmmeter

When I have some free time I'm going to head down to the church of Scientology (I was shocked to find they had one here in Plymouth) and try and wind them up with that one, I'll even take along my multimeter to demonstrate that it is the same damn thing.

[Alice Shade]

Sign in the vestry of a New England church:

Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.



Religion at it`s best.

[jon_hill987]

On my mug (the quote is from Intersting Times by Terry Pratchett)

Luck is my middle name.
Mind you, my first name is Bad.

[Alice Shade]

God made men, but Colonel Colt made them equal.

Pretty true. In second part, at least. ^_^

I found this article to be pretty well-written, and dead-on the topic. Comments?

http://munchkinwrangler.blogspot.com/2007/03/why-gun-is-civilization.html

[AaronD]

In an ideal world, that would work. Guns would equalize it. I am not against them. I just think that there are a few too many trigger-happy people with a fuse worn too short for that to happen in the real world.

[Alice Shade]

Let them.

Trigger-happy people get gunned down first in firefight.

[AaronD]

I'm not very keen on collateral damage.

[Alice Shade]

You can`t make an omelette without cracking some eggs.

Just try not to be the collateral damage, and everything will be fine. ^_^

[Digs]

Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.

- Sun Tzu in The Art of War

The advice applies to a staggering number of situations, really. It is a fine reminder that knowledge and information are two of the most powerful tools available to humekind.

[Alice Shade]

Actually, it emphasis the need in covert operations and espionage - especially disinformation. Make sure your enemy is disinformed, and he will hurt himself worse, then you could`vee ever hurt him on your own.

[Digs]

Yup! I agree, while also stating that the purpose of disinformation is to take worthwhile information away from the enemy.

[Alice Shade]

Not necessarily.

Sometimes, it involves passing the authentic information to enemy in such a way, that he assumes it is disinformation. Adds insult to injury, you know. ^_^

[Digs]

Wahaha, it's funny you'd put it that way. That was one of the lie types set down by Robert A. Heinlein's Lazarus Long, and the author's personal favourite. Heinlein is, in turn, my favourite author.

[Alice Shade]

Well, it`s the staple of all magicians - put truth in plain view, then make people think it`s not true.

Ask Aaron, he does a lot of magic tricks. ^_^

[AaronD]

And I'd be glad to tell you that the tricks that work best are the ones where the real workings are hidden in plain sight. There's also a fair deal of misdirection, but the best slights are also the boldest, the most seemingly obvious.

[Alice Shade]

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

I quite liked this quote. Simply and elegantly presents closed argument.

[Alice Shade]

If your plan is for one year, plant rice.
If your plan is for ten years, plant trees.
If your plan is for one hundred years, educate children.

[Lunchbox]

Give a man fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

No idea where it comes from. I just enjoy the irony...

[jon_hill987]

No idea where it comes from. I just enjoy the irony...

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/23897.html

Terry Pratchett.

[Alice Shade]

Give me a child for the first five years of his life, and he will be mine forever.

[jon_hill987]

"Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more." - Terry Pratchett in "Pyramids"

"Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think." - Terry Pratchett in "Small Gods"

[Fallen Hero]

That one is scary Alice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.
[info][add][mail]
Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988)

[Alice Shade]

The creation of the world is the most marvellous achievement imaginable. The merit of an achievement is the product of (a) its intrinsic quality, and (b) the ability of its creator. The greater the disability (or handicap) of the creator, the more impressive the achievement.
Therefore if we suppose that the universe is the product of an existent creator we can conceive a greater being - namely, one who created everything while not existing. An existing God would not be a being greater than which a greater cannot be conceived because an even more formidable and incredible creator would be a God which did not exist.
So God does not exist. The most formidable handicap for a creator would be nonexistence.

That one was plucked out of the chat, weirdly enough. It`s very profound, especially for such medium.

[AaronD]

I can only imagine the amount of confusion that quote would cause if it had been said on IrCQnet... I'm fairly certain that 75% of the users' heads would explode upon reading it.

[Alice Shade]

Aaron, it`s a safe bet, that 80% would not be able to read this much.

And from remaining 20% 75% of them (aka, 15% out of all mass) would have heads exploded.

[Lunchbox]

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/23897.html

Terry Pratchett.

Thanks, Jon. That explains why it stuck with me.

[Serenstar]

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
- Steven Weinberg

That was on iGoogle's quotes of the day things. :D

[PotatoeOfDoom]

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day; give a man religion, and he'll starve to death waiting for God to give him a fish.

No idea who wrote that, found it online a while back and remembered it.

Actually i may have seen it on this site... I don't know though.

[jon_hill987]

No idea who wrote that, found it online a while back and remembered it.

I like it.

I have also seen this variation on it:

"give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will become an alcoholic"

[Alice Shade]

Measures could be taken against starvation, flood, fire, plague, any problem natural or supernatural - but there`s no measure against the well-meaning laws of government.

[Fallen Hero]

"I do not suffer from insanity. I am enjoying every minute of it" - Edgar Allen Poe

[Rand]

Yossiaran (Catch 22) - "And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing mysterious about it, He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about, a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"


CASE: 'I wanna have a look at an AI in Berne. Can you think of any reason not to?'
DIXIE FLATLINE: `Not unless you got a morbid fear of death, no.'

from Neuromancer

[Googlist720]

There are no two people that are not on fire. :icon_lol: Man I love that guy.

[Alice Shade]

I`ve had to research Bismarck for my personal needs, and I`ve been surprised at the amount of memorable quotes he had. Thought this quote thread could use some german wisdom.

The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions but by iron and blood.
The main thing is to make history, not to write it.
The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia.
There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America.
When you say you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.
A really great man is known by three signs: generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, moderation in success.
Politics ruin the character.
With a gentleman I am always a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.
Stupidity is certainly God`s gift. Best not to abuse it.