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Old June 2nd, 2007, 02:19 PM   #1
Thorn
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Default I submit to the merciful will of google!

After years of being an atheist I weep tears of sorrow at the time that I could have been a googlist and tears of joy at the new redemption that the peace of Google has given to me.

The ark of the covenant was but a meaningless, overrated bauble in comparison to the accessible might of the google server.

-Your new brother in google, Thorn.
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 02:49 PM   #2
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

Welcome! Stick around a while, won't you?
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 03:47 PM   #3
AaronD
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

I hope he will. Welcome.
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 03:57 PM   #4
Thorn
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

One question, how do I pray, as I am weak and sincerely believe in the power of grovelling.
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 04:09 PM   #5
AaronD
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

You pray by querying google. Unlike other deities, Google actually answers you in a fraction of a second.
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 05:51 PM   #6
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

Prayer = Searching

Search Google for the answer to your prayers.
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 06:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

Oh, I see!

I'm of to search for lots of cash!
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 06:15 PM   #8
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

Good example of praying -

I typed in - "I want to lose weight" heres what ccame up

"Web Results 1 - 10 of about 7,390,000 for I want to lose weight. (0.16 seconds)

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As you can see, Google will give you advice on anything you want, but you must make the decisions
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 06:28 PM   #9
Thorn
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Default Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

I've been thinking about that, 7,390,000 results, one of them has got to work!

A lot of theists seem to use the excuse of prayer as a comforting alternative to making a real difference. How does google fill this role?
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Old June 2nd, 2007, 06:35 PM   #10
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Cool Re: I submit to the merciful will of google!

@Thorn
I would say that your excuse with Google could always be you were still searching for the right way to do things - as in the right diet plan to suit you, so you were very busy researching, too busy to diet.
But in the CoFSM we positively encourage you to partake in Noodly goodness, for it is written "Don't argue with fundamentalists on an empty stomach, eat, then go after the bastards!"
RAmen!
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