I can't believe I still have a functioning keyboard.

[Rimmer]

Alright, here's the story. A couple days ago I bought myself a brand new G15 gaming keyboard. Several minutes ago I spilt about a glassfull of chocolaty milk from my bowl of cereal all over the numpad. My thought process at the time: "FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-". So, I take the keyboard to the bathroom, pluck out all the numpad keys, see a bit of milk on the pg up/down keys and remove all of those for good measure too. Put all the removed keys in another cereal bowl which I then wash with hot water and leave there while I go wipe the keyboard. I figure something must've got inside the keyboard so I take several minutes to remove all the screws and put them in some plastic box. Then I slip my thumb between the casings and try to pry the thing open. Guess what? Turns out keyboards are quite sharp and I cut myself. There's probably bloodstains inside the thing now. Anyway, I open it up a bit, and it is at this point I realise I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. My thought process then: "Shit, are those things supposed to be loose?"
I figured that if the keyboard wasn't broken before, it must be now, so I feel around a bit inside on the plastic under the numpad for moisture, find none, snap the thing closed and start screwing in all the frigging screws again (there's like 15 of them, but who's counting). Dry up the keys and put them back on the keyboard and then I plug that sucker in. Voila, it's alive! Only problem is that I bent the plastic at some point and now my keyboard wobbles. Then I proceed to dry my mouse, clean my mousepad, and my floor, and my desk. The kicker? I did all this while wearing nothing but a towel.

Friggin hell...