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October 30th, 2006, 09:47 PM
well, here ya go!

Steven Miller
College Writing 12

Is Google God?

When I was young, my father and family always taught me to question the things around me. Never stop asking why is what they say. As I rattled and rocked into my teenage years, I became more and more adventurous and curious. I challenged nearly everything I saw, I went against the norm. Then I began to question the big guy, god. I moved down south where evangelists and missionaries are a plenty. I began to ask; maybe He is just a he. I looked into the subject and found some fascinating results. This all peaked out in direct occurrence with my Google findings. I found the Church of Google, where Google is god! But why a search engine? Well for one thing Google exists!
Please note, this paper was not meant to be harmful or intimidating, but it is more of a satirical outlook on a very big issue in today’s world. Many of our problems now share a common root of religion. The Middle East conflicts and wars have sprouted from religious extremists. This paper was meant to point out how silly religious beliefs can be, yet when 2,106,962,000 people believe in it, it is not so silly anymore (2facts.com). For instance perhaps there was a book written by people who were guided by the creator of the universe (which is a very powerful, invisible guy, that we can’t prove exists) that states that rape, murder, and slavery are all A-OK. Well there is such a book; it’s called the bible. Slavery is permitted my the lord in Leviticus 25:44 “As for your male and female slaves, whom you may have; of the nations that are around you, from them you may buy your male and female slaves.” As well as murder in Exodus 35:2 “six days work shall be done, but on the seventh day there shall be a holy day for you, a Sabbath of solemn rest to Yahweh: whoever does any work in it shall be put to death”. These are very heinous crimes, yet when placed in the name of the lord, they are overlooked. Even rape, permitted by god in Deuteronomy 20:10 “when the Lord your god hands it over to you kill every man in the town. But you may keep for yourselves all the women, children, livestock, and other plunder. You may enjoy the spoils of your enemies that the Lord your god has given you.” This paper, once read, and understood, is no sillier than the bible.
But still you ask, why a stupid search engine? Well simply put, Google is the closest thing we have to a god humans have encountered yet. She is the single largest source of information we have yet, and points you towards whatever you want to find. She cannot die, She is infinite, and remembers everything. She can do no evil, and She has vast amounts of proof of existence. This of course covers a lot of material. So lets go over that little by little. First of all she is the single most largest source of information ever. No contest, She indexes a mighty 11 billion web pages a day (MacPherson). That’s a new world record! Not only can we access this information easily from Google, but also She presents this information anywhere anytime. The simple solution to that is wireless. You could very well be anywhere on earth and get some kind of link to the Internet, whether it be satellite or WI fi. Therefore Google is omnipresent and omniscient. She is also infinite. Theoretically, everybody can keep adding WebPages to the Internet, expanding Her vast database of information. She is immortal, She cannot die. Her servers are one of many; they cannot be shut down. If the Internet crashed, which it won't, humanity will most likely go with it. So the Internet will go on forever, until humanity dies. When that happens nobody will be worshipping anything, so all gods will be eliminated. Being the largest source of knowledge available today, She is omnipotent and all-powerful, for knowledge is power.
Google also answers prayers. You can pray to Google simply by searching for anything. You could find how to better your health, fix your house, find facts, do homework or just further your knowledge of the world. However, pointing you to a WebPages is all She can do, after that it is only a matter of free will on your part. You decide what is right and wrong. There is no book written by the Google Corporation telling you that this is right, and that you should do this on that day. Gods of other religions take away this free will. Some gods even command followers to kill other people to test their faith. For instance, god orders Abraham to kill Isaac. Google however would tell you how to kill Isaac, how much knives and gloves are, where to find good firewood, how to start the fire, the zoning laws for a human sacrifice, and the required punishment for murder in your local town. Doing the act is completely up to you. That free will is a large part of Googlism. She can also do no evil. It is up to you to form your own morals. You can search for whatever you please. Clicking on the link and reading said WebPages is up to you. One might say, well what about pornography and racism? Who said those were immoral? Who said those were evil? Not the followers of Google. We believe it is your decision, not the churches to look at material, and you could very well search Google to find out if your community approves of said material or not, so then you could make your decision. Other gods actually do evil, even the Christian god. Have you ever heard of the great flood, you know the one with thousands of innocent people in it? All creatures great and small the lord god drowned them all.
The largest evidence for Google's god like abilities is Her very existence. You could ask where is Google? Well young follower, turn on your computer, connect online, type in google.com, and voila! She is right there ready to answer your prayers. The Christian god cannot exist within scientific knowledge. He has neither mass nor location; therefore he does not exist. Google is located at every computer connected to the Internet, and her servers plus. At about 6.7 billion people, and 73% of the population using computers, and roughly 14 lbs, Google weighs 6.8 X 10^10 pounds. That might be flawed by the fact that I didn’t count her serves. So that number is correct plus or minus a few hundred, maybe thousand.
The Christian god has large amounts of disproof upon him. He does not exist for many reasons. Non-belief, poor design, Hume’s Fork, and Occam’s Razor are all arguments against him. The simplest of arguments however, is purely scientific fact. As mentioned above, he has neither mass nor location, therefore he does not exist. Poor design states that god is omnibenevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient, and he therefore would create organisms with optimal design. But organisms do not have optimal design, so either god did not create them, or he does not exist (Wikipedia). Organisms have very poor design. In the woman, a fertilized egg can be implanted in the mother’s fallopian tube. This space between the ovaries and uterus is very poor design, as it usually kills both mother and child. It doesn’t make much sense for an all-powerful, all knowing, can-do-no-evil god to design organisms that kill the mother and child does it? Hume’s fork states that we cannot prove god exists because human statements are one of two things. They are either of logic and mathematics; such as all bachelors are unmarried, or 2+2=4. Or they are statements made about the world around us. The sky is blue; the temperature is 42 degrees out. The first set of statements are always true. The second set are never true, and cannot be proved true because our senses are not scientific instruments and they fail us. God is not logical, or mathematically proven, less he is please tell me. Therefore he cannot be proven into existence. Occam’s razor says that anything that is not necessary to a scientific theory can be shaven off. Keep it simple stupid is a near synonym for this, if there are two equally valid theories, choose the one of more simplicity (Wudka). There are two main creation theories for the universe, the big bang, and genesis. Which makes more sense, a ball of matter exploding in such a way that we can still see the effects of it today, such as the rapid expansion of the universe. Or some big invisible guy creating everything because, well I don’t know I guess he just felt like it. The last of all, the argument of non-belief states that if god wanted us to believe in him, we would. In the bible he wants everybody to believe in him. But millions of people do not believe in him. Therefore he does not exist.
Googlism suffers from none of these flaws. The googlist creation theory is the big bang. The second half of our creation theory is evolution. Evolution has been proven logically. Something is not fit to survive, it dies, something else has a special feature that the dead one did not, lives and reproduces. Please disprove that, I haven’t laughed yet today. Also, please do not say that we are related to monkeys. We share a common ancestor with apes. I most certainly do not come from monkeys. But if you do, then your family tree is a line, and your father is your brother, which sadly enough, is tradition for West Virginia. Google also fulfills Occam’s razor and Hume’s Fork. She is comprised of mathematical algorithms, and therefore is proven into existence. She is not part of any scientific theory, and cannot be affected by Occam’s Razor. Evolution, once understood, is of the utmost simplicity, and is also not affected by Occam’s Razor. The most common argument against Googlism is that people made Google. Wasn’t every other god known my man created by man? Googlists believe that gods are people’s way of dealing with the unknown. For instance, where do we go when we die, why are we here, and who created us? Google does not answer these questions. However, it will point you to numerous websites of the big bang theory and evolution proofs. Besides it doesn’t matter how She got there, what matters is that She is there.
So, is Google god? No, however she is the closest thing to god humans have ever encountered yet. It is your decision who you worship, but if you do worship Google, please follow the

1. Thou shalt have no other Search Engine before me, neither Yahoo nor Lycos, AltaVista nor Metacrawler. Thou shalt worship only me, and come to Google only for answers.
2. Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations.
3. Thou shalt not use Google as a verb.
4. Thou shalt remember each passing day and use thy time as an opportunity to gain knowledge of the unknown.
5. Thou shalt honor thy fellow humans, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race, for each has invaluable experience and knowledge to contribute toward humankind.
6. Thou shalt not misspell.
7. Thou shalt not hotlink.
8. Thou shalt not plagiarise or take undue credit for others work.
9. Thou shalt not use reciprocal links nor link farms, for I am a vengeful but fair engine and will diminish thy PageRank. The Google Dance shall cometh.
10. Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results. Search Engine Optimization is but the work of Microsoft.

October 30th, 2006, 09:48 PM
After "please follow the" i copied the ten commandments graphic\

i hope u enjoy!

October 30th, 2006, 10:36 PM
well, here ya go!
the temperature is 42 degrees out.

Was this reference on purpose? Anyway, there are a few mistakes with grammar, find PM me if you would like to know what they are.

October 30th, 2006, 11:47 PM
I'll read it when i get a chance.

Alice Shade
October 31st, 2006, 03:27 AM
Not bad.

A bit too emotional and personal for a serious paper (IMO, mind you), but for a school paper, it should be very adequate.

October 31st, 2006, 05:55 AM
Bearing in mind that it IS a school paper, I think it's brilliant. It makes all the relevent points and explains them rationally. Well done sv3nn, you've got a firm grasp on Googlism, and you've explained it all very well.

....and please let us know what the reactions are. :D

November 2nd, 2006, 08:52 AM


Nice paper. It could have been a bit more serious if it's for school, but it's good.

Fallen Hero
November 2nd, 2006, 02:43 PM
I liked it too, but I cannot really recall my thoughts from last night.. Never try and think logically after 48 without coffee or sleep, it is not possible. My only advice is not to use the word 'I' or 'Me' so much, they should not really appear in essays, unless this was opinion, in which case it is my opinion that you used the words still a little too much. :wink: Also, somethings were put passively. For essays, you need to back up your claim, you need to explain Why or how 'A small ball of matter exploding makes more sense than genesis'. That essay, I did like it, but it was not really properly written for school.

November 3rd, 2006, 01:35 AM
yes, i liked the humor in my paper as it comtributed to the personality. my teahcer loved it, and when i started writting without i or me, and instead of you, i used one, but she said scrap that and write exactly what comes to mind. oh man school the next day was great!!! i had a bunch of kids come up to me and say the DUMBEST crap! " u want eveidence god exists? look into the hubble, those are GODS creations!" LMAO, yes god exists because there are pretty things in the universe. most of the teachers liked it. however i did have to re-do some parts because my classmates are to retarded to understand the simplist concepts, so instead of making counter points, opponents of my paper were commony heard to say "because" and "your stupid" as legitimate arguments.lol. guess what? up next is an argumentative paper, and since many people in ludington, MI think evolutionsits say we all come from monkeys, i'm doin evolution, and some blonde is writing the Jebus side. fun fun!

Alice Shade
November 3rd, 2006, 03:36 PM
A little more respect to blondes, mm`kay?

I`m blonde too, you know.

You`d better prepare your paper good, or that blonde might blindside you unexpectantly.

Fallen Hero
November 3rd, 2006, 04:08 PM
A little more respect to blondes, mm`kay?

I`m blonde too, you know.

You`d better prepare your paper good, or that blonde might blindside you unexpectantly.

Prepare it well, because you should always try for the best you can. :wink:

November 4th, 2006, 10:14 PM
theres no way possible to do that. i've read the bible, and sought her most strongest arguments, and the whole creationism theory rests on the fact that a god acually exists. there is so much evidence for evolution, its crazy, she cant disprove a proccess of things dying, and other "mutated" things having sex, even if she pulls it out of her ass, you cant keep a straight face saying that an invisble guy created everything for the hell of it.

Fallen Hero
November 4th, 2006, 10:18 PM
You'd be surprised how many people actually can.

November 4th, 2006, 10:26 PM
lol yes, she could keep a stright face, but i wouldn't! just seeing her present: "the bible says that the earth is only six thousand years old, so evolution is could not take place n such a short period of time." "the bible also says that you sould touch a woman on her period." "SHUT YOUR FACE SINNER!" hehe, its only funny because i've heard it b4

Fallen Hero
November 4th, 2006, 10:30 PM
That is almost as good as the rebuttal "Well, they you're going to hell"... in response to the opening statement: I believe evolution is right.

Alice Shade
November 4th, 2006, 10:39 PM
Quite probably, but...

It`s rare, but one CAN run head-to-head with educated theist, and then it might be one hell of battle. I`ve seen our local priest utterly slaughtering (verbally) stupid dudes, who thought it`s cool to make rude gestures at the church. And I don`t mean he was cursing them out. No, he reduced them to yelling "F**k you!" and running away, without saying a single bad word.

November 7th, 2006, 01:33 AM
yeah i got a problem with my evo paper, some OTHER kid is doing faith vs science, and his major points are the disproof of the big bang with the doppelar effect, and some disproofs of the primordial soup theory, do u have any welcoming information, or should i assume it is understood in my paper and skip to the fish to land, or be an asshole and not even mention any of it?

November 7th, 2006, 12:13 PM
I think this is probably where your 'opponent' got his information on the Big Bang.


I haven't read all of the papers, too busy with other things, and I've just glanced through them quickly, but from what I have seen so far the argument the author uses is:

The Big Bang theory rests upon the assumption that the universe is the same everywhere. Same physical rules, same physical makeup.

His theory is a purely hypothetical one where our Galaxy is enclosed by hot hydrogen effectively putting us inside a closed area of space and that the doppler effects, etc that we view are therefore the product of a static and closed region of space.

If we are within an area of space that is different from everywhere else then we can't rely upon the evidence supporting the Big Bang because our observations would be different if we were outside our 'bubble' of Hydrogen.

There is absolutely no evidence that our region of space is any different from any other region of space. He is making up purely hypothetical conditions, how unusual for a Christian ;) to try and prove a point i.e. that Genesis is right and science is wrong.

The author uses lots of mumbo-jumbo and big equations to try and make his work look authentic but he is basically attacking the Big Bang theory and not really showing much proof, or even evidence, in support of his own theory, the usual ploy of Creationists and their ilk.

I hope this helps ;)

EDIT: Incidentally, even if Christians COULD prove that the Big Bang theory is incorrect, they would NOT be proving that their theory is right.

Much of what they currently write as proofs for Genesis over Science is merely a rehashing of doubts or questions that science already has over this theory.

The Big Bang is not a proved theory, merely the best explanation we currently have given the evidence we have available. If evidence comes to light showing that the Big Bang is wrong then the theory will be changed but one thing I will bet on is that it wont be changed to the Genesis version of events ;)

December 12th, 2006, 12:50 PM
The Big Bang is not a proved theory, merely the best explanation we currently have given the evidence we have available. If evidence comes to light showing that the Big Bang is wrong then the theory will be changed but one thing I will bet on is that it wont be changed to the Genesis version of events ;)

And in relation to that, you know what's problematic, is that people of faith don't do that. If a better explanation (logically) comes along, they still stick with the old one. There's no way they'll change their opinion. Therefore, I don't see the point of even having a debate of religion versus science. Science-based theory is evolving into new explanations, so it's always potentially in a state of change (and they may never find an ultimate answer). No matter what happens, religion keeps its stance. So you can't argue because they won't change.

Scientists will fall back on "well, that's the best explanation we have" and religious followers will fall back on "well, that's just what I believe."

Scientists believe that actions/reactions found under certain conditions (for example, on Earth) could apply to a much more varied situation. And religious people believe in a *possibly* historical book. There are 'reasons' to believe in either, but not really evidence...

December 12th, 2006, 05:32 PM
No matter what happens, religion keeps its stance. So you can't argue because they won't change.

I agree with much of what you say however religion HAS changed its stance many times in the light of new evidence.

Does the church still persecute people, or even say that they are wrong, for saying that the earth isn't the centre of the universe as they did with Bruno and Galileo for example? No, these days they are happy enough to go along with the scientific facts.

The church cannot though just come out and admit it got something wrong because it would cast doubt on the rest of their teachings and therefore their credibility with their followers.

Such changes are therefore long and drawn out, relying on teachings to be subtlely altered over several or many generations, and relying on the fallibility of human memory to ensure that such changes are forgotten.

Even so, whether people remember the changes or not, the church DOES change its opinion especially when to not do so makes them look increasingly stupid in the face of mounting evidence.

Indeed, it is this mounting evidence that is forcing Christians to invent, and aggressively market, such rival 'theories' as young earth creationism in order to try and restore their own credibility.

While arguing against belief may seem futile within our limited life spans it does pay dividends in the long run.

December 15th, 2006, 08:22 PM
Well theres a topic that'd be useful for a GCSE in Religious Education

(our school makes us do a R.E Half course for googles sake)

I've just discovered a new meaning for OMG but I bet that is nothing new to all you lot... Oh My Google I love that