View Full Version : I submit to the merciful will of google!

June 2nd, 2007, 02:19 PM
After years of being an atheist I weep tears of sorrow at the time that I could have been a googlist and tears of joy at the new redemption that the peace of Google has given to me.

The ark of the covenant was but a meaningless, overrated bauble in comparison to the accessible might of the google server.

-Your new brother in google, Thorn.

June 2nd, 2007, 02:49 PM
Welcome! Stick around a while, won't you? :D

June 2nd, 2007, 03:47 PM
I hope he will. Welcome.

June 2nd, 2007, 03:57 PM
One question, how do I pray, as I am weak and sincerely believe in the power of grovelling.

June 2nd, 2007, 04:09 PM
You pray by querying google. Unlike other deities, Google actually answers you in a fraction of a second.

June 2nd, 2007, 05:51 PM
Prayer = Searching

Search Google for the answer to your prayers.

June 2nd, 2007, 06:12 PM
Oh, I see!

I'm of to search for lots of cash!

June 2nd, 2007, 06:15 PM
Good example of praying -

I typed in - "I want to lose weight" heres what ccame up

"Web Results 1 - 10 of about 7,390,000 for I want to lose weight. (0.16 seconds)

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As you can see, Google will give you advice on anything you want, but you must make the decisions

June 2nd, 2007, 06:28 PM
I've been thinking about that, 7,390,000 results, one of them has got to work!

A lot of theists seem to use the excuse of prayer as a comforting alternative to making a real difference. How does google fill this role?

June 2nd, 2007, 06:35 PM
I would say that your excuse with Google could always be you were still searching for the right way to do things - as in the right diet plan to suit you, so you were very busy researching, too busy to diet.
But in the CoFSM we positively encourage you to partake in Noodly goodness, for it is written "Don't argue with fundamentalists on an empty stomach, eat, then go after the bastards!"

June 2nd, 2007, 09:46 PM
Hullo, Thorn. Feel welcome here.

You could probably pray to Google for money and get an answer acceptable to you if you did it just right.

Alice Shade
June 2nd, 2007, 10:17 PM
Basically, Google offers you a chance to go and MAKE a difference, rather then placate yourself with comforting alternative.